Word of the day: Turgid

Have you seen that advertisement on television? The one where the seventy two year old guy is strutting around, all buff with his shirt off, and espousing the benefits of a magical potion called 'T'? It turned him into Superman according to him and his thirty year old girl friend.

I went to my doctor two years ago for my annual checkup, and after taking some blood, he told me that I had high cholesterol, and low testosterone. So for the high cholesterol he put me on Crestor, and for the low testosterone he put me on a regimen of testosterone shots. The Crestor definitely worked, my cholesterol dropped significantly. As for the testosterone, I guess it worked. My testosterone level went up, but other than walking around horny all day, I didn’t see any difference in my life. After two years on ’T’, I don’t look anything like that guy in the ad. I’m still a flabby, overweight slob, and I don’t have any more energy than I did before. You may say, what’s wrong with being horny? Well, unless you have somebody who just can’t wait to help you out with that, it is really nothing more than a huge inconvenience. Every time I go online to pay bills, or write one of my little stories I seem to always end up spending an hour or two surfing porn sites. Very inconvenient. And don’t expect Mark to help me out, all I get from him is an eye roll, and the “I’m tired.” routine. So I went to the doctor last week to talk about this, and he suggested I up the amount of testosterone in the injection. I countered with the idea that I simply stop taking it all together, and free up a couple of hours a day for other tasks besides surfing the internet for porn. He looked at me kind of strangely, and then said “Okay, if that’s what you want, fine.” No, that’s not what I really want. What I really want is to be horny as a twenty year old man, and have the body and looks to go with it. Otherwise I’m just a dirty old fart walking around in a turgid state.