Tuesday, August 20, 2013
After School Special
I hated school. I don't know why, but it never was something I looked forward to. Maybe it was the sadistic nuns for the first seven years, or the sarcastic and sadistic teachers after my parents pulled me out of Catholic School, but I never liked it. One thing I didn't like was the forced march that the nuns organized every spring. It was called the May procession, and it wasted hours of valuable learning time while we rehearsed how to walk in a straight line. Really, hours every day for a couple of weeks until the moment of the big procession where we paraded through the school parking lot, and over to the church, while carrying a statue of the 'Virgin' Mary. I'm sure our parents thought it was cute, until they realized they were paying to send us to a school that wasn't actually teaching us anything valuable.
We had another forced march at the Catholic School. It was called 'The Walkers Line'. Every day after school, those of us who walked home had to get lined up and march (very noisily) towards our various neighborhoods. There were a number of these lines, all snaking off in different directions, and if you snuck off to take a different route, the next day an angry nun would rap your knuckles with a ruler. It didn't make sense to me because they didn't make us march to school in a line, only home. I guess the nuns figured child abductors slept in.