Monday, August 5, 2013

Husbandly Duties

A good friend of mine, along with his wife, were sitting across the table from me in a bar when I noticed that the wife had a hair growing out of her chin. Not just a small easily overlooked hair, but the sequoia tree of chin hairs. It was a huge, long hair that was literally waving at me as she talked. Should I say something I wondered? Obviously the answer to that is no. That would only embarrass her. But that brings me to the more nagging question, doesn't she have a mirror? And why doesn't her idiot husband point out that she has a ten inch long hair growing out of her chin? Isn't that what people get married for, to point out each other's flaws? I suppose I should understand, I was looking in the mirror just a while ago and I realized that there was a very long hair dangling from my earlobe. I plucked that thing out of there and noticed even more hairs poking out of both ears. What the hell? Why hadn't Mark given me a heads up? Just a quick, "Hey Alan, what's with the hair farm in your ears?".  I wouldn't be insulted. I would welcome such a caring gesture. I mean, I regularly remind Mark that his hair is turning gray, and that his nose has sprouted it's own mustache from within. Because I care.


  1. Absolutely. It's a clause in our living will that if one of us is hospitalized the other will pluck hairs.
    Gets me all choked up just thinking about the love...

  2. Everyone over age 50 needs to have a 10X magnifying mirror. Its the only way to keep the hairs from overtaking your the weedy vines in your yard!