Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The Big Fluffy Chair

My first recliner chair was heated, dispensed refreshments, and was probably the most comfortable
place I have ever sat in. That was sixty five years ago, and after only nine months my mom kicked me out. I've been looking to recreate that experience ever since. I've tried memory foam and even a water bed once, but nothing was quite like the womb. Unfortunately, the best I can do in my adult years is the big fluffy chair. I started with a fashionable recliner around thirty years ago. It fit my butt, supported my back nicely, and looked good. Since then I've gone through around five different chairs. Hours of watching television, snoozing in them, and the damage caused by cats and dogs have taken their toll. The chair I have now is disgusting. It is covered in dog drool and man sweat, and wedged deep within its folds are a few pounds of chips, popcorn, and nut fragments. I do like to snack while watching television. So once again it's time to find another 'Big Fluffy Chair', but not until after we move. On the day we move out of this house I will drag the old red chair out to the curb, where some garbage picker will think he has scored big. And he will if he can dig those quarters out of the cushions.  


  1. It's Chairy's red-headed cousin from the Pee Wee Herman show.

    1. It's more like the chair Paul Ruebens was sitting in when he got busted in that porno movie theater.

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