Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Spit on It

I guess that I started out with a negative view of the airline we took to Chicago last weekend when the red ink ran out on my printer. After printing out our boarding passes the airline logo looked like Spi it, and I started calling it Spit Airlines.

Years ago, when I first started flying, all tickets were the same price. Nobody who paid $400 was sitting next to someone who only paid $98, and once the plane was in the air, you were showered with free sodas, water, and a meal served on a nice little dish with real flatware. Of course, back then I would have been writing this on a clunky old typewriter. Times have changed.

My first inkling that Spit airlines was going to nickel, and dime me to death was after buying the low cost ticket that was advertised. Immediately after purchasing the ticket online, a screen came up that asked if I wanted to choose my seat now. Sure, let's get to it, and I clicked on two seats. $64 was immediately added to the price of my airfare. Welcome to the new age of air travel where buying a ticket to the plane doesn't buy you a seat. I wondered, do they have straps hanging from the ceiling like on the subway? After giving in to the fact that I was going to be charged for sitting, I decided I might as well go ahead and buy one of the most comfortable seats up front. After all, I was just getting over the boil on my ass, and I figured if I have to pay, I might as well be comfy. It was when we got on board that I realized just how greedy and petty Spit airlines was. They not only charged me six dollars for a little bottle of vodka, if I wanted a vodka/soda I had to order a separate can of club soda for another three dollars. The real shocker came later when the guy across the aisle asked the flight attendant for a cup of water. It seems that after waiting three hours on the ground for our flight to take off, and the actual flight taking an hour longer than advertised because the pilot had to fly around weather, the poor guy was thirsty. "I'm sorry sir," she told him, "I can't give you water. We're only allowed to give a passenger water if they have to take a pill."  I watched in amazement as everyone within earshot suddenly had to take a pill. I of course chimed right in, except I let her know that my doctor wanted me to wash it down with some vodka. The final bill for this flight to Chicago was $628. I could have flown a real airline for more than $100 less. No more Spit for me, ever.

13 comments:

  1. I hope your visit was better than your flight!

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  2. So did you have a nice time besides the airline trip?

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  3. cheap is never better. You get what you pay for.Is that airline owned by Walmart?

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  4. Gary, I'll answer your question about the ownership of Spirit Air, and it will only cost you $3.00.

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  5. I'll bet Alan wrote that. Maybe he will start charging us to make comments on his blog.

    Maybe we should charge our government a fee for everyday they don't get things accomplished because of infighting.

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  6. I hope we were all worth it up here in Illinois!!! WE enjoyed spending time with you and Mark!

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  7. Oh, the part where I see the family was fine, and I actually wouldn't mind living back up there. When I see that the kids have all grown up and I haven't been around to see it makes me a little sad. The problem is convincing Mark to move. It won't be easy.

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  8. SHOPPING, LOTS OF SHOPPING.

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  9. Did you take Mark shopping to Chicago's Magnificent Mile? Once he goes there, you will have convinced him.

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  10. That is another thing, the shopping. Mark knows all about Michigan Avenue, and State Street. He has spent the equivalent of days on those streets over the years. In fact he was quite pissed at me for nixing a trip to State Street last Sunday. My feet were already worn to bloody stumps, and he wanted me to schlep on over across the bridge to shop at a store that is identical to the one here in Fort Lauderdale. He claims they have more stuff at the one in Chicago.

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  11. I think EVERYONE should be paid for having to endure O'Hare ...

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  12. "When I see that the kids have all grown up and I haven't been around to see it makes me a little sad". Don't pin your hope on making a change for this reason. Think back to the days of yesteryear. Just how much time did you or did you want to spend with your old aunt or uncle.

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  13. I spent a lot of time with my aunts and uncles. I also showed up at every family gathering until the time I moved away. Trust me, I don't have a lot of any thing, but if the little darlings want to get a piece of what I do have they had better look out for Uncle Alan. Remember, I don't have any children to leave my shit to. (Oh, and if they are thinking of pulling the plug to speed things along, I have a living will that says 'don't pull the plug'!)

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