Monday, October 10, 2011

Mark Goes Bananas

Mark made banana nut bread today. You know it's delicious because he made it from scratch, not from a box. Of course he used fresh bananas, pecans that he shelled himself, and the very best of ingredients he could buy.

We've had a rash of burglaries around here in the past few months. They all were pulled off in the same way. The window in the back door is smashed. Jewelry, small valuables, and money is taken, then the thieves are gone within minutes. So far five homes that I know of have been hit, including a neighbor who I chat with every morning. He has actually been hit twice, and when I saw the police car pull up in front of his home the other day I feared the worst.
"Hey Paul, what was up with the cops this morning? Did they break into your house again?"
"No, this time they stole my bananas."
"Stole your bananas? You mean the bananas on that tree that hangs over the street?"
"Yes, and now I only have that one bunch remaining." Paul said, pointing up into the knot of banana trees in his front yard.

I felt bad because Paul is obsessive about his yard. He is out there every morning pruning, clipping, sweeping, and whatever else it takes to keep his lush jungle looking nice. I just never knew he cared that much about his bananas, or the star fruit he also grew out next to the street. In fact I always figured if it was on the public swale next to the street, it was fair game. I mean if you don't want people to help themselves to your fruit wouldn't you plant it further up into your yard?

Like I said, Mark baked a delicious banana nut bread today.


  1. Absolutely. It really is his OWN FAULT that his bananas got nicked.

  2. U aren't thinking what I'm think right now ...are you? Hope you enjoys that "fresh, like just picked" banana bread.

  3. WMPD dispatcher: fuzzy static...then: We gotta APB on some missing fruit.

    WMPD Cop: What's his name?

    WMPD dispatcher: No, not a person. We have missing bananas from a tree.

    WMPD Cop: You've got to be kidding!

    WMPD dispatcher: Can you drive over there and fill out a report?

    WMPD cop: Fill out a report on stolen bananas!? Only in Wilton Manors.... Probably some gays whipping up fresh banana bread again. Any witnesses or description of the bananas.

    WMPD dispatcher: No witnesses and the bananas are yellow.

    WMPD cop: (Thinking his radio is off) Hey Joe, lets just go to the grocery store, buy some bananas and then tell the guy we found his bananas.

    Joe: That would be fabulous, Dirk! While we're at the store I need to pick up some ingredients for fresh banana bread. I got the recipe from my friend, Mark. Although it calls for "fresh picked" bananas. Where in the world would I find those?

  4. They were green. You have to let them ripen on the counter for a few days.

  5. WMPD Dispatch: Correction, suspects reports they were green and you have to let them ripen on the counter for a few days.

    WMPD Cop: Did you here that Dirk? Wait pull over, I see some green bananas on that tree in front of that house. I'm sure the owner is just going to let them fall off and rot. Give me a boost, will ya, sweetie Dirk?

  6. Good job Anonymous! And Alan, actually you have to let those bananas "go bad" to make a really good banana bread. The taste will be richer and deeper.