In The Bag

Yes, I know that I wrote two stories last week about poop. I'm sorry, but what I write about is what my life is, and sometimes it's about poop. Today's post will be slightly different, today is about bags. Bags that I use to pick up dog shit to be specific.

"Mark, if you're going to the mall remember that I need more dog poop bags."
That is a direct quote, and the only thing I asked Mark to do for me on that day a week ago. Thirty minutes later the phone rings. It's Mark, and he's calling from the Home Goods store.
"Alan, do you know how much these crap bags cost?"
"I don't care, they're convenient and I need them."
The reason I wanted those specific bags is that they fit in a little roller dispenser that I have attached to each dog's leash. If one of the little darlings decides to do a double poop during their walk around the block, I have the necessary tools to handle it.
"I can buy some cheaper bags. They come in a little box, only they aren't on a roll."
"No, I need the ones on the roll. Just get the ones on the roll and I'll give you the money when you come home."
"Well that's stupid, and I won't do that." Mark spat back, and then he hung up.
Considering that I am the only one that walks the dogs, I think I should be the decider when it come to how I clean up the dog shit. If Mark did the job I'd be all for letting him cut corners and use the cheapest bags he could find. However if Mark walked the dogs, I am sure he wouldn't even admit they had shit on the neighbors lawn, much less pick it up.
About an hour later Mark walks in the door, arms loaded down with purchases.
"Did you get the roller poop bags?"
"No! I am not paying ten dollars for seventy bags when I could buy a hundred for five dollars, so I didn't get any goddamned bags."

So now I am stuck without dog crap bags, and have had to improvise. I've found that the bags that the newspaper comes in are no good for picking up dog shit. For some reason when you try to turn the bag inside out, the handful of dog crap you are trying to encase smears the outside of the bag and before you know it you have shit everywhere. Right now I am using those plastic supermarket bags. I'm almost out of them because the dogs shit much more often than Mark goes grocery shopping. Besides that, they are not of good quality, and tend to have holes in them which makes the job kind of tricky.