Wednesday, August 22, 2012

But I'm the Cool Uncle

Old age is creeping up on you...

... When the line in that TV ad, "I've fawlin, and I can't get up!" is not so funny anymore.

...When the hair in your nose and ears grows faster than the hair on your head.

...When it takes less vodka to get you drunk, although the hangovers are less brutal. Of course that may be because old age is a form of hangover.

...When the sound of young people talking is like a foreign language, and they look at you as if you have antennas growing out of your head if you try to talk to them.

...When you think twice about picking up that quarter you just dropped because getting back up is a major undertaking.

...When you pull a muscle while wiping your ass.

All those things have happened to me.



  1. ...when you notice the skin under your arm flaps in the breeze.

    ...when you can't go anywhere without your reading glasses.

    ...when you start forgetting to turn off your car's directional signals after a lane change.

  2. I can't sugar-coat it. It's ghastly. I've got jowls and bad hips. More to come.

  3. You can't hear or smell your own farts....

  4. don't remember the last time you took a shower.

  5. Is that what I have to look forward to? I'm still hoping the Polar-Shift will just put me out of my misery this December...

  6. Yes Steven. Also you will go shopping for two hours and return home with everything but what you initially went out to get. You will shout things in public because you don't give a shit anymore what people think. See today's post.