Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Bear Down

Before I say another word let me make this clear, I do not dislike fat people. Unless I'm sitting next to one on an airplane that is. But other than that I am fine with fat.

So a week ago Sunday I was invited to bowl on the Sunday league. Although I was passed up at the beginning of the season, it seems that I am good enough for them as a last ditch replacement. Anyway, like I said, I have been bowling now for two weeks. This past Sunday I noticed that guys on the league were very nice to me, and a couple of times I could have sworn I was being flirted with. It finally hit me when I asked the league secretary, "Who do I make my check out to for my dues?"
"Bear Bowl, make it out to Bear Bowl."
I was bowling on a gay league for 'bears' and the men who like them. I have always been of the opinion that many who call themselves 'bears' in the gay community, are actually nothing more than fat men who need an excuse. Luckily for them, there are some guys out there who like that beefy look. I am not one of them, and I am not all that enthused about being perceived as a bear. Although one of the guys who gave me the quick look over was sort of cute. Still, let's get this correct. I am not a bear. Sure I'm beefy, and kind of fat, but I am not a bear. What I am is a skinny, hairless twink, trapped in an old fat mans body.


  1. I too have always felt that "Bear" was a euphemism for "Fat" or "Husky". The guys get that pretty picture painted while the women get "Bull-Dyke" or Diesel-Dyke". It's just not fair, Alan.

  2. So Hostess, of course I had to do some research on that. Unfortunately a female bear is called a sow. You can't use that. How about calling big women something like, big dykes? Then again, who wants to be referred to as a device for retaining water. I'll get back to you when I come up with the perfect euphemism for describing overweight lesbians without insulting them. This might take a while.

  3. You need a lot more body hair to be a considered a bear. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bear

  4. Oh, and I am a device for retaining water once a month...