Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Things That Go Bump

During the first fifteen years of my life my mom was pregnant seven times. That means nearly fifty percent of the time mom was very uncomfortable. The rest of the time she was just pissed. What I do remember is that she had her bottle of Mogen David in the refrigerator to take the edge off those 'pissed' times. Don't get me wrong, she was a good mom. It's just that she was so busy trying to keep us all in line it seemed like crankiness was always right around the corner. Maybe that is why there is a certain piece of slang that has popped up in the last ten years, that drives me crazy. I heard it again just last night while Mark was watching one of his favorite gossip/screaming, fake news shows. From the lips of Mario Lopez came the words "Baby Bump".

I don't know if women find that term demeaning, but I find it very disrespectful. It sort of dismisses not just the grandeur of child birth, but the awful crap a woman has to go through just to pop one of those things out. I may be wrong, chances for that are pretty good knowing my track record, but I suspect most women would hate that term. Besides, if they are going to keep using baby bump to describe the obvious side effect of getting pregnant, what am I going to use when I tell the story of my mom dropping newborn Alan on his head during the trip home from the hospital?

6 comments:

  1. I see you've lost some weight.

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  2. A sibling of yoursJune 26, 2013 at 5:45 PM

    Baby Bump....more like Baby Hippo if you look at the Kim Karcrapians pregnancy photos. Years ago we "tented" our growing babies-in-waiting but now women are wearing the tightest things they can. Aside from seeing their bulging umbilicals, I swear I can see the baby kicking through the T-shirt! That is if they are decent enough to cover their skin! Our mother draped herself in muu-muus all the time so we hardly knew when she WASN'T preggers!

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  3. Kardipshitians wear moo moos, or is it that they say moo moo?

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  4. How could you tell Garrett?

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  5. I HATE the words "baby bump". It's one of those phrases all the idiots in Hollywood use so of course everyone else thinks they have to use it too.

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