Friday, September 6, 2013


One morning some time ago, while I was walking Chandler along with a neighbor and her dog, a car came speeding down our street. Not just a few miles over the limit, but at least twice the posted speed. Before I could scream at the moron to slow down, my neighbor belted out some choice words in both English and German. She grew up in East Germany, and she is not somebody to fuck with. Anyway, the moron driving the car apparently took offense at this and did a quick U-turn through another neighbor's yard and came back. He then proceeded to do donuts through multiple yards, tearing up the sod, while screaming obscenities at us. Unfortunately he was moving so fast we could not get his tag number. Besides, we were both trying to keep our dogs out of harms way. It was an awful feeling of helplessness. We knew calling the cops was pointless, as he was not a known neighbor, and it all happened so fast no description would be reliable. So he got away with some asinine behavior.

I was thinking about that asshole last night as I walked Chandler. I realized that at some point we have to accept that the world is full of assholes. We have assholes as bosses, we have assholes in the police department, we have asshole criminals, we have asshole politicians, and worst of all we have asshole criminals who are politicians. You simply cannot keep all the assholes from doing their asshole deeds. Sometimes you have to just stand by and watch shit happen because you know you have no power to actually change things. Like when a bunch of crazy tribes in the Middle East start slaughtering each other. History has proved that in the end we really cannot do anything about it. And if we do try to do something, we are just drawn into the assholiness of it all.


  1. Amen brother. Can't wait until the aliens arrive, wipe humans off the face of the earth, and put dolphins in charge.

  2. The world is filled with them. There is a fine line between defending against the asshole and becoming one. Its the difference between "what a hero" and "what an asshole"

  3. Another great description of the world as it is, Alan! Your Mom will enjoy this column. I have to say that watching the reports of the children who were gassed brings tears to my eyes. And then total anger that they do such horror to their own people. Which is why "they" would have no trouble smiling at you, shaking your hand, while they stab you in the heart. It is a culture of evil which lives that way.