Monday, March 3, 2014

Like Magic

I have a tendency to flail my hands about when I tell a story. I have knocked over more than one drink at a bar while beguiling drinking buddies with my exploits and adventures.

Me in my striped underpants in better times.

            Friday morning I ate a healthy breakfast of strawberry frosted mini-wheats, took a shower, and proceeded to get dressed. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a fresh pair of underpants, orange striped underpants to be a bit more specific. I fully intended to put them on right away, but on my way back over to the other side of the room I stopped to tell Mark, who was still laying in bed, a very humorous story involving our neighbor's dog, a cat, and what happens when a squirrel intervenes. I stood at the foot of the bed, my arms waving around, relating every detail of this most interesting story. When I was done and I was satisfied with Mark's reaction, I continued on over to the closet side of the bedroom to put on my underpants. Except that I had a problem, I couldn't find my underpants. They had been in my hand when I had started the story, but now they were gone. Evaporated, disappeared, vanished, like some kind of magic trick, I had made my underpants go away. Surely they must be on the floor or very nearby the end of the bed, so I started looking for my orange striped underpants. It is now Monday morning and I still cannot find my underpants. I have looked everywhere including in other rooms. Either I have the gift of magic, or maybe one of my dogs took off with them when they went flying, or I could just possibly be going insane.


  1. Anonymous, I don't disagree.
    Now for the news flash, I found the underpants!
    Now I remember that I also had the flashlight I use for going to the bathroom in the middle of the night in my hand. Whilst telling my epic story I opened the night stand drawer and dropped the flashlight in there... along with my underpants.

  2. Dementia strikes again!

  3. Are the stripes vertical or horizontal? Vertical stripes are slimming...

  4. Nice picture Alan! Love the stripes!!

  5. I was going to say check the ceiling fan.