What Is It?

Mark is feeling a little bit better lately. The doctors have done a good job. How do I know? Because he is shopping again. It's the goddamned internet, Mark has gone internet shopping crazy. He can't do much actual in store shopping anymore. But that Siren, the internet, Mark cannot resist it. Yesterday seven packages showed up on our doorstep.

So what do you get for the kitchen counter that has so much crap on it that it has become useless? How about a mug rack for the new mugs Mark bought three days ago. Now we have over a dozen mugs for two guys who use the same two mugs every morning for coffee.

In another package was what looks kind of like a pirate's chest. I asked Mark, "What is that for?"

"That's for Halloween candy."

I opened it up, and sure enough. It was stuffed with bags and bags of Milky Way candy bars. Fun size.

"Okay then. So what do we do with it the other 364 days a year?"

"Shut up. Leave me alone."

On Mark's new living room coffee table sits a hand. Not a flesh and blood hand, but some kind of metal hand looking like a trophy. Once again I ask.

"What the hell is this...   ?"

"Shut up. Leave me alone."

And on, and on it goes. He bought new chairs for the dining room table. They are lovely, they are very comfy. But who the hell buys upholstered chairs for two sloppy, drippy, messy old men, and two drooling hounds? Seriously, those dogs drool about a quart of saliva while begging for some of my dinner.

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy that Mark is feeling better. He had such a bad summer with two stays in the hospital. I truly hope he will recover soon from his ailment. Shopping addiction.