Thursday, August 23, 2007

Alan The Carpenter (Finishing the Deck)

It is really irritating to see a horror movie with Mark. He runs out of the room just before the gory stuff happens, then comes back in and wants me to recap the bloody scene for him. He’s even worse when it comes to real blood. I’ll be in another room while he’s cooking and hear screaming like a white girl in an ‘Elm Street’ movie. The first time I heard this I was sure that he had sliced off a finger with the expensive ‘O. J. Simpson’ kitchen knives I had bought him for Christmas. Of course when I ran into the kitchen he had a tiny cut with one drop of blood barely oozing out of it.

He is the same way watching me work, as he is about horror movies. Mark is so scared I’m going to cut off an arm or drill a hole in my leg that he stays away (the cursing may have something to do with it also). God help me if I ever do really get hurt. I’ll lay there for hours bleeding to death before he discovers me.

While building my deck, I did injure myself many times. The worst being when I was hauling the demolished deck out to the curb. I slammed my shin into the cart I was using, causing me to lose my balance and slam my arm into the fence. That of course was followed by the requisite cursing and swearing.

One life threatening clutz moment happened while sawing the ends off of the deck boards. I ran the circular saw right over the power cable. I can see myself shorting out the electricity and Mark is in the house assuming the power is just out (happens a lot here) and leaves to go somewhere with air-conditioning, while I’m fried on the back deck.


  1. OK I'll be the first to ask.... Is that a picture of Mark's fingers with the tiny cut or your fingers "representing" Mark's fingers?

    The picture of the new deck really looks nice. Does Attica the cat still live under it. What did you find under the deck? Anything intesting like rat skeletons or a cat nest?

  2. Garet,
    Obviously those are not Marks fingers. Not dainty enough. It's only a illustration of the type of cut he had.

    I don't know where Attica slept while the deck was torn up, but she's been here all along. No skeletons, nests, or buried treasure. Just garbage.

  3. Alan: I guess you do have a bit of "butch" in you. And I am sure Mark was a bit more help than you stated... He most likely chose the colors and made sure all the boards were evenly spaced, know, all the important things. Is he planning any faux finishes or fabric applications for it?.....sorry Mark. hehe

  4. A nice Tiki Hut would look fabulous