Weenies!! (part three)

Florida is like America’s basement and South Florida is the sump pump. All the losers and scammers seem to flow naturally south, and of course I hired many of them at Big City Dogs.

It all seemed to start out OK. Our first employee was a friend of Marks who we’ll call Beavis. We liked him and he caught on fast. Mark would even leave Beavis there alone at first because business was so slow.

Rule number one for an employer is never give an employee an advance on his pay. Unfortunately I learned that the day after I gave Beavis an advance on his pay. That day my phone rang and it was Mark, “HE DIDN’T SHOW UP. I’M ALL ALONE. MY ASS IS ON FIRE.”. Well actually the last part might not be accurate. We never did hear from Beavis again, but one of our other friends said they had seen him at a fourth of July cookout and Beavis had brought a case of Vienna hot dogs. Time to do inventory.

Our next employee was a young guy from Guatemala, who we’ll call ‘Butt Head’(Culo Cabeza). We didn’t pay him as much as Beavis because all I had to say was ‘immigracion’ and he would do what I told him. One day he just disappeared.

After Butt Head we went through quite a few people. Some would leave because Mark is so hard to work with. Others would leave when they discovered they would actually have to work. Many walked out right in the middle of the lunch rush after having a disagreement with Mark. I witnessed one such incident that involved Mark losing his temper and squirting the help up and down with mustard. The employee retaliated with a condiment shower on Mark before he walked out. Sometimes if Mark didn’t scare them off I would have to fire an employee. Firing someone is not a pleasant task and it made me feel like Mr. Potter in it’s ‘A Wonderful Life’. Especially when they cried.