Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Who Left the Barn Door Open?

You don’t like to think you’re getting too old but there are some hints. Like my eyebrows starting to look like Andy Rooneys.

I walked Molly half way around the block yesterday with my fly unzipped. I stopped and talked with Nanny, the old lady across the street. I also said hello to my neighbor walking her two dogs down the street and waved to Sharon Kerwick as she drove by. I was totally oblivious until I turned the corner and started walking into the wind. My fly wasn’t just unzipped, it was gaping open. It caught the breeze like a spinnaker on an America’s Cup boat. There is no discrete way to zip up with a seventy pound dog pulling you over to smell where her best friend just peed five minutes ago.

The reason my fly was open is because of another old man trait. When I watch TV I like to loosen my belt and open my pants for the sake of comfort. The trick is you must remember to re-secure yourself before leaving the house.

I guess my neighbors are used to me and Molly doing our daily walk. "Well here comes that guy who falls with his fly unzipped again."


  1. Soultion: Start wearing those pullup pants with the elastic waistband and no fly zipper.

    Be sure to wear them really high above your waist and with argyle socks up to your knees. A nice tie tucked into your waistband and those big clunky Harry Carey glasses should finish the picture.

    Cheers. ;-)

  2. I just have to ask......were you wearing underwear?