Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Weenies!! (part two)

Mark has always had a hard time dealing with disasters, calamities, and anything out of the ordinary. ‘The Hot Dog House’, which we renamed ‘Big City Dogs’, was run on a day to day basis by Mark while I continued in my regular job. If Mark had a problem he would call me. My phone would ring and a hysterical voice on the other end would be screaming at me, "THE ICE MACHINE IS BROKEN. GET OVER HERE NOW I THINK IT’S GOING TO BLOW!" or "THE LIGHTS DON’T WORK, I THINK THE PLACE IS GOING TO BURN DOWN!" or "THE SKY IS FALLING AND MY ASS IS ON FIRE". It didn’t matter where I was, I had to find a way to get over there and fix the problem, which usually turned out to be nothing more than a circuit breaker.

Mark also had a running battle with the homeless street people. They seemed to think our hot dog stand was a homeless shelter. Every morning it looked like there had been a big beer and wine party at ‘Big City Dogs’. There would be nasty old clothes and shopping carts full of crap. Mark would open up in the morning and within ten minutes there would be a guy taking a sponge bath in the washroom. But the worst of it was the smell of urine. We had to wash down the place every day with bleach.

One day while I was working at Memorial Regional Hospital, my phone rang. It was Mark, "I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE! I’M LEAVING AND GOING HOME! THEY SHIT ON THE TABLES!" (followed by the sound of gagging). And he hung up. By the time I got there he was gone. He had left our one employee alone to run the business. Mark has a very weak stomach, and can’t even stand to see the cat cough up a fur ball without gagging and puking. I went around to clean up the table, and there it was. One single turd. Not even a large turd. It was about the size of a medium dog turd and I washed it off with the hose in thirty seconds...........................This was not the hot dog stand I had envisioned.


  1. Wait a, it can't be....hold on.....I can't believe is....the washroom is right next to where people sat and ate! Glad you guys are outta there.

  2. It really is sad when our dream turns out to be a lot less than we envisioned. The hot dog stand looks so cute in the pictures, I guess the homeless felt "at home" there!

  3. Wow. I'm in agreement w/ Garet. I think it's a good thing that you guys are out of there. I'm sorry that it didn't work out as you had wanted. At least you tried. That's more than most people.

    I know what it's like to clean up after homeless people. I used to clean up various "things" while working at North Community Bank in Chicago. The Armitage and Halsted branch was in a bar neighborhood also. I had piss, s**t, vomit and broken bottles almost every day on the door steps. That was always fun to clean up.