"MRCA MRCA Me (The Ecology)"

In one of those weird reality shows that Mark loves to watch on ‘Bravo’, a contestant had to leave because he had the MRSA virus in his nose and it had apparently screwed up his face. This week, after two days of soreness on the side of my nose, my right nostril flared up to the size and color of a bing cherry. I don’t know if it’s MRSA, but I do know it reminds me of when I was a teenager and every two weeks a pimple would appear somewhere on my face or nose. I didn’t just get pimples, I got big shiny red beacons that could guide a ship in off of the ocean. Thank god for airbrushing, because the high school yearbook photographer must have spent a good hour on my picture. Kid’s today have no idea what it was like before modern acne medications became available. I don’t think I’ve seen a pimple on a kid in years, they all seem to have clear skin.

The problem with kids is that they have no problem pointing out each others shortcomings. I’d show up at school with one of my huge pimples and at least two or three people would have to point out the second head that was sprouting from my neck. When I tried to use a pimple cover up cream, it just looked like I had put on bad makeup.

When you have sensitive skin the fun never stops. I take after my mom, we both have very tender skin and bruise like a ripe apple. All I have to do is gently brush against a hard surface and the next day every shade of purple will bloom from the area. Usually the point of impact will be on my legs or arms, but this week, while getting out of Russell’s car, I misjudged the length of his car door and caught my chest with the top of the door as it closed. Now Mark is using my chest as a color swatch for his redecorating of the living room. He thinks that it is the perfect royal purple. I’m afraid I’ll have to go down to Home Depot and put my man-boob under the color computer.