Mark is a collector of crap in the spirit of my late Grandma Webb. When Grandma Webb passed and my mom had to clean out her house, a huge dumpster was parked in front and was filled to the top. I would love to do the same thing here but without the passing of Mark part. Every time I have to dig around for something I daydream about a big dumpster out front and all this crap in it. I used to keep a fairly neat house, if not well decorated, at least neat. Mark moved in ten years ago and decorated the house, or fagged it out as I like to call it, and it looked good. Unfortunately he didn’t stop there, he required more things. 
Mark loves to shop. He buys crap on sale, brings it home and brags about how much he saved. I have to point out to him that he saved nothing if he buys a piece of crap that neither he nor I need. A fondue pot sold at eighty percent off is no savings if it sits in our dining room unused for five years. "You never know when we’ll need it." is Marks comeback. Unfortunately once, and once only has that been true. One morning I heard a sound coming from the bathroom and got up to check it out. I opened the bathroom door and was hit square in the face with a blast of water from a broken pipe behind the toilet. Unable to turn the water off because of a corroded valve, I had to run out front in my soaking wet underwear and turn it off at the street, giving my neighbors an unwanted wet jockey shorts show. I started to clean up the two inches of water in the bedroom with towels and a mop, when Mark came in with the ‘wet/dry’ vacuum cleaner he had bought on sale. The water was sucked up in no time. My mistake was to say that he finally made a good buy and now he uses that against me every day.
So this weekend my project is to organize my office closet and throw out a bunch of crap in there. Hopefully Mark won’t bury me in there behind a mountain of crap when he comes home from shopping.
Hey, is that my painting? Don't give that away.
ReplyDeleteHow much for the fondue set? I'll give you 5 bucks for it.
Can I have that cute clown doll?
Anyone else need Alans crap? hehe
Who said I was giving it away? I said dumpster. Actually I might do ebay if I can do it on the sly. For the most part Mark doesn't notice when I throw things out, so I might as well make money off of it.
ReplyDeleteI noticed Garet's painting too. I'm sure you weren't intending to toss that in the dumpster. Ebay sounds like a good idea. You might make a killing. I am considering getting onto Ebay. As soon as I get myself organized and motivated (I have said that for 15-20 years now) maybe I could sell some artwork of my own.
ReplyDeleteWith respect to Mark buying things on sale, I too know of someone like that. A friend of my moms (rest her soul-mom not her friend) bys everything she finds on sale. I mean everything.
I remember going into her basement once. She asked me to go down there to get a bottle of ketchup or something. I found that odd to begin with. Turns out the basement is piled high with boxes and boxes of canned goods, dry goods and health care products. Obviously much of it had been there for some time too. There was lots of cob webs on much of it.
I asked her why she bought so much of everything and she said "It was on sale, and ya never know when ya might need it..." I'm sure that once she found out about Sam's Club she went nuts!
hey russell, your mom's friend might be loading up for the "apocalypse"....I know people like that. NOT ME!!! I'm just a "Gramma Webb packrat". If I could just retire...I know I'd clear the crap out!
ReplyDeletep.s. that's the procrastinator in me.....
So many things to buy, so little time. Too bad you can't take it with you.
ReplyDelete