Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I Am Not Fat!! Just Bulky.

When you’re young, old people seem stupid. I know because my parents were among the dumbest people I ever met when I was young. Thank god I was able to educate them over the years so that later in life we started to agree on things. Now I look back and see a lot of stupid things I did when I was young, but I would never admit that to my mom now.









That’s a lot like skinny people who never had a weight problem and can’t understand why other people are fat. I know because I used to be skinny. When I met Mark I weighed 155lbs. After ten years of living with Mark I recently weighed in at 207lbs. Mark is a great cook, I have never eaten so good as I have over the last ten years. Unfortunately it is extremely rich, fat filled food. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes (enriched with sour cream), home-made macaroni and cheese, pot roast, crab cakes, etc., etc., all done from a black perspective. Other than Oprah, I don’t know too many black people who worry about fat or sugars in their food. Only that it tastes good, and boy does Mark’s food taste good.









So about two and a half months ago I started a diet. No refined sugar, no flour, no breads of any kind. I told Mark I just wanted a small meat portion and a steamed vegetable for dinner. I have a salad for lunch, and oatmeal with raisins for breakfast ( no instant oatmeal, no sugar). I almost immediately lost ten pounds. Within a month I lost fifteen pounds. Then we went to Savannah, Georgia and for some reason when we returned Mark forgot my diet and started to put the fat back on my plate. The other night we had barbecued pork (sugar in the sauce), macaroni and cheese (flour in the pasta), and home-made potato salad (who knows what’s in that it just seems fattening). Last night it was steak, potatoes, more of the left over mac and cheese, and a salad. God it was good.









Yes, all you skinny bitches are saying "just don’t eat it.". That’s like telling a junkie "just don’t do heroin", or a alcoholic "just don’t drink", or like telling a republican "just come out of the closet". It’s not that easy. So to all the fat people I had bad thoughts about up until I got fat, I’M SORRY! Now if I can just get that skinny Mark to cook only what’s on my diet.

4 comments:

  1. I guess we all wish we could be a bit thinner. Except those skinny bitches that never gain weight. Too bad society puts such emphasis on thin.

    I wish I did have the drive to exercise and eat right. I watch what I eat occasionally, loose a few pounds and eventually go back to old habits.

    I have never smoked. I don't do drugs or drink very often. You wouldn't think so after what Alan said. And, I don't have sex much any longer. What's left? Food.

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  2. I think everyone wants to know what Marks secret is for staying so trim.

    I weighed 130 for decades. When I reached 40 yrs it gradually increased. (I guess my metabolism was slowing down. Now I weigh 25 lbs more at 155. My ideal weight would be 145 for my frame...but muscle also weighs more than fat and I have been lifting weights.

    I think the key is to stay active, eat smaller portions, eat less or no processed foods, drink lots of liquids (alcohol doesn't count as a liquid, but Alan can rule that out. See last blog entry.), and excerice (to help sped up tour metabolism and build muscle) Muscle burns calories more efficiently than fat.

    Also, stop making food such a priority. Get involved in volunteer work. Get out there and keep active. Help build houses for Habitat for Humanity, walk dogs for the local animal rescue shelters, become a coach for Special Olympics, join an environmental group to clean up the waterways.

    My mother used to tell me: Where there's a will, there is a way. 'Nuf said.

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  3. I'm definately not skinny.

    I think the secret to aging gracefully is to participate in life, keep your mind active by continually educating yourself, have friends that keep telling you that you are aging gracefully, eat less meat and more healthy foods and WRITE.
    Writing keeps you from hanging out in the kitchen and eating.

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  4. Alan, ewe's not fat, ewe's FLUFFY!

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