I have nothing against people following a religion. That’s what the constitution is all about, freedom to practice your own religious beliefs. But you have to admit some people take it to ridiculous extremes. I’ve seen the snake handlers, but they only endanger themselves, and then there are the people who kill in the name of religion, but this isn’t about them. This is about the religious people who make me laugh because they do funny things. One that I find truly humorous are the guys who talk in tongues on TV. They get up there and start flapping there lips and tongues with their eyes closed and hands up in the air like some kind of god antennas. It’s obviously just gibberish yet somehow they’ve convinced some people they’re talking to god.
I was watching the news the other night and they had another Virgin Mary sighting. This one was some kind of wax spill on a piece of cloth. Another in a long line of VM sightings. She really gets around, from a grilled cheese sandwich, to the bottom of a turtle, to a bank window. I would think the real VM would have better things to do than show up in a wax spill, yet every time this happens the TV news people show up and dutifully report on it and I’m glad they do because it amuses me. Not amusing like nuns on roller skates, amusing like , "aren’t people nuts?".
So I’ve posted some of my favorite VM sightings here for you to either chuckle at or pray to. Meanwhile for some reason this made me hungry and I think I’m going to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich.
i always thought the grilled cheese sandwich looked more like bette davis, but whatever.
ReplyDeleteThe grilled cheese lady actually got the grilled cheese sandwich tattooed on her, i think on her chest. A very talented tattoo artist did it, but it still looked wrong. more like a birthmark than a sandwich. and the crazy sandwich lady still had the sandwich and it wasn't at all moldy. it's like a twinkie, it never ages. of course she blamed this on divine forces rather than excessive amounts of preservatives in food.
I dunno, that looks like Mae West to me on that grilled toasted cheese sandwich.
ReplyDeleteHow did you miss the Virgin Mary on the underpass of the Kennedy expressway? While it looked to me like dirty-water-dripping-for-a- long-time-down-a-cement-wall-stain, many believers blocked traffic to set up a shrine. Now I know what those fancy candles in the hispanic markets are for-shrines!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the VM hanging out under a expressway underpass.
ReplyDeleteCheck the Minneapolis airport restrooms. There's a lot of stains in there.
Alan, why not be interactive and have your readers submit their photos of images they believe to look like the Virgin Mary? Have a contest voting for the best photo. hehe
ReplyDeleteI agree w/ Laura. It looks more like Bette Davis. Also sounds like that lady was a real nut case. I remember the dripping water stain under the Kennedy Expressway sighting. It looked pretty good. I don't see VM in the tree bark yet. ???
ReplyDeleteFor the bark, you have to stand on your head and squint. While rubbing your belly.
ReplyDeleteNow I see it!!!!
ReplyDeleteI just don't see Bette Davis.
ReplyDelete