The Fat Lady Sings

Much of my favorite music comes out of the mouths of fat black women. Is it that the fat gives them more oomph in their voice?

My all time favorite fat black woman, although she didn’t start out fat, is Aretha Franklin. Ever since I heard her pink album ‘I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You’ in 1967 I have been an Aretha fan. On ‘American Idol’ the best singers have been the hefty black women. Mandisa, and Lakisha were great singers but their weight doomed them. An American Idol is never fat.

Over the weekend I got to see one of my new favorite performers at ‘Georgies Alibi’. She bills herself as Diva Denise Carter, and because of this the gay men in the audience assume she is a drag queen. But no, she is an authentic fat black woman and she puts on a great show. She does everything from Aretha to Amy Winehouse to Jackie DeShannon. Before she really gets going she warns the people up front about the "Diva Juice". If you have ever seen a fat black woman perform you know about the juice. She gets rocking and shouting, and when she moves, her boobs go one way, her belly another, and her ass a whole different way. Flying off of all that is the Diva Juice.

I don’t know what the proper etiquette is for getting splashed with diva juice. Is it proper to make a big show of wiping it off with a bar napkin. Or is being discrete and when you think nobody is looking quickly wipe it on your sleeve the way to go. Not wanting to be rude I just sat there with it dripping down the side of my face.