American Idol Auditions

Dennis Morrison

As of today my best friend, Dennis Morrison, has moved to Palm Springs, California. So I decided to start auditions for another ‘Dennis Morrison’ to fill the void. The qualifications are not too difficult. First, you must be able to drink large quantities of vodka and do that while maintaining a happy visage no matter the provocation. Second, I must be able to say anything that comes to my mind and ‘New Dennis’ will either ignore it if it’s stupid, or agree with me if it’s brilliant. The ability to baby-sit my dog and cats while I travel will be considered a big plus. I, in return, will never point out flaws in arguments that ‘New Dennis’ thinks he is winning as long as he buys me a drink.

So on with the auditions. First up.

Dennis Morrison


Dennis1
Dennis C. Morrison, a 27-year veteran of the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT), oversees the Northern Virginia District. Married to Martha Morrison with one daughter, Kim.
Married to a woman? Sorry, I guess I forgot to say ‘New Dennis’ must not be married......to a woman.

Dennis Morrison

Dennis2
MY MISSION IS TO EDUCATE, ADVOCATE, MAKE ECONOMIC CHANGES, AND CREATE JOBS FOR THE PEOPLE OF PENNSYLVANIA. Candidate for the office of State Treasurer for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
Whoa! A long winded bullshitting politician, no way.

Dennis Morrison
Dennis3
I bring to my practice a technical background and twenty years of executive level experience as a CFO, VP of Operations, and General Manager. I earned an MS in Mechanical Engineering and began my career designing geothermal power plants and conducting energy research under grants from the DOE, GRI and EPRI. During that period, I progressed through project, program and general management positions with Gibbs and Hill and Altas Corporation.
ZZZZZZ! Wake me up when your done bragging.
Dennis Morrison

Dennis4
A graduate of the London Print College, Dennis has worked as a music video director/producer, as well as producing, directing and editing short films and documentaries. He is currently touring around the UK, filming events at various festivals all over the country.
May be promising, but travels too much and he lives in England.

Dennis Morrison
Dennis5
Cartoons are an amusing media to express feelings or illustrate a joke and the Indian art class is fortunate to have a cartoonist in their numbers. Dennis Morrison, a 25-year-old from the Ochapowace Reserve near Broadview, Sask., has been cartooning and sketching for several years.
Sounds like he may be on the peyote.

Dennis Morrison

Dennis6
Dennis became a detector enthusiast in 1983 after buying his first Metal detector from Kellyco to detect nails in logs (before they were cut) at a sawmill he worked at that time. Since then he has purchased numerous detectors, most from Kellyco. Dennis is the editor of the club newsletter which presently has about 40 members and has accumulated a huge collection of coins and rings.
Ooooeeeeweee. He sounds like he may smell like chewing tobacco and B.O.


Well I see this is going to be much harder than I thought. Maybe I should look for someone to hang out with who isn’t named Dennis Morrison for a change.