A Mighty Blow

It was two years ago that hurricane Wilma blew through here and plunged us back into the nineteenth century. We had no phones, no running water, and no electricity for two full weeks.

I was just sitting and thinking about what it would be like if I had been born into another time. Would I even survive into adulthood and if I did what would I miss most? I think it might be toilet paper. I could live without electricity and all the things it has brought us, but toilet paper, there’s a creature comfort I can’t imagine being without.

The ancient Romans used a sponge on a stick. It was left soaking in a jar of salt water next to wherever it was that Romans did their thing. After using this sponge, it was rinsed out and put back for the next person. They really had no concept of germs and bacteria. I’ve read that before toilet paper, newspaper or the sears catalog was used. Besides being of very rough texture, you might be walking around with yesterdays headlines on your butt in reverse. Speaking of rough texture, my dad always bought the cheapest toilet paper he could find, and that would be Scott Tissue which was just one step above newspaper.

When we were in Rome, Italy, our hotel room had a bidet in the bathroom. This is something quite common in Europe that I’m not so sure I like. In the course of our stay I did try the thing a couple of times and I found out that, one, they don’t use warm water, and two, if the blast of water is too strong it splashes out. Another weird thing in Rome were the public toilets. More than once in public restrooms I encountered a toilet consisting of two footprints next to a hole in the floor and a grab bar on the wall. I thank God and the Pope that I didn’t have to go in a public restroom while I was there.

Anyway, if your still reading this and I haven’t grossed you out yet, you’ve probably figured out where I was sitting and thinking when I came up with this post.