Friday, October 12, 2007

A Mighty Blow

It was two years ago that hurricane Wilma blew through here and plunged us back into the nineteenth century. We had no phones, no running water, and no electricity for two full weeks.

I was just sitting and thinking about what it would be like if I had been born into another time. Would I even survive into adulthood and if I did what would I miss most? I think it might be toilet paper. I could live without electricity and all the things it has brought us, but toilet paper, there’s a creature comfort I can’t imagine being without.

The ancient Romans used a sponge on a stick. It was left soaking in a jar of salt water next to wherever it was that Romans did their thing. After using this sponge, it was rinsed out and put back for the next person. They really had no concept of germs and bacteria. I’ve read that before toilet paper, newspaper or the sears catalog was used. Besides being of very rough texture, you might be walking around with yesterdays headlines on your butt in reverse. Speaking of rough texture, my dad always bought the cheapest toilet paper he could find, and that would be Scott Tissue which was just one step above newspaper.

When we were in Rome, Italy, our hotel room had a bidet in the bathroom. This is something quite common in Europe that I’m not so sure I like. In the course of our stay I did try the thing a couple of times and I found out that, one, they don’t use warm water, and two, if the blast of water is too strong it splashes out. Another weird thing in Rome were the public toilets. More than once in public restrooms I encountered a toilet consisting of two footprints next to a hole in the floor and a grab bar on the wall. I thank God and the Pope that I didn’t have to go in a public restroom while I was there.

Anyway, if your still reading this and I haven’t grossed you out yet, you’ve probably figured out where I was sitting and thinking when I came up with this post.

8 comments:

  1. Yes, I know. This is my second poo related post this week. I don't write them always on the day I post them. Sometimes I get a flash of inspiration and write two or three at one sitting and then stockpile them until I have a dry period. I am not obsessed with poo.

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  2. I want to hear more FART stories. You know like how you use to fart SUMO WRESTLER style. hehe

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  3. Ever watch Dirty Jobs? Now there's a guy obsessed with poo!

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  4. garet said....
    I want to hear more FART stories. You know like how you use to fart SUMO WRESTLER style. hehe

    Still do, and nobody wants to hear about it.

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  5. Well I do. I'll bet you have some very interesting, if not amusing, stories about the fine art of cutting wind. hehe

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  6. I'm almost embarrassed to be leaving a comment at this site. (Hey, I'm the new kid & checking everything out!) When I was a little girl I spent a few summers at my aunt's farm in WI. Out behind the barn there was a huge mountain of shelled corn cobs. I asked why Uncle Fred kept all those corn cobs. My aunt said they were for "emergencies".???!!! It was many years before I knew what she meant.

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  7. Please don't be embarrassed, we never are. Besides, I love the comments.

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  8. A catalog called the Sportsman's Guide has been delivered to our house for years. We don't hunt, but you know how convoluted mailing lists must be. In their latest catalog, & on sale!, is a wooden moose that you fill with small candies (M&M's, skittles, maybe peanuts). When you press his tail the candy drops out. Great at parties or for bathroom snacks. The same catalog also has a buck's behind mounted on a plaque. It's called the "deer rear" & it's also on sale. I kid you not. For a peak go to www.sportsmansguide.com. Goodier gifts for Christmas giving; I wonder why they're on sale?

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