Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ahoy, Landlubbers

When I lived in Chicago, on summer days, I would often walk out to the end of Navy Pier and watch the boats go by. From that vantage point you could see people sailing past, having a grand time, free of the constraints of land. They were always out on a pleasant excursion, smiles on their faces, drinks in hand, away from the traffic and din of the city. Sometimes I would see a boat coming in from a trip across Lake Michigan and imagine that they had come all the way down from Canada. I totally romanticized sailing and longed for the day that I could be out there with those of like mind.
So it was one day I suggested to my brother Gary, that we go to a boat show in Michigan City, Indiana. I believe I had already decided that on that day, at that show, I would buy a boat. Buying a boat was something my brother hadn‘t planned on doing. With just a little deceit, and mild cajoling, I managed to talk my brother into buying a cute little twenty five foot sailboat with me. What I knew about sailing you could fit on the head of a pin. I had sailed a little Sun Fish sailboat around a small lake once, and read a book about sailing. I considered that to be quite enough experience to qualify me as a sailor.
When you ask friends to go sailing with you they get quite excited at first. What they don't know is that they are only along as deck hands or 'boat whores'. Our first outing on the new boat we had named, ‘Madonna Lila’, lasted only a few hundred feet past the harbor entrance. I had convinced my friend Dennis to come along as my 'boat whore', and everything seemed to be going well until I gave the order to hoist the sails. The light breeze and gentle swells that we had been dealing with inside the harbor suddenly turned into a gale with huge waves crashing over the bow as we exited the protection of the harbor. Every few seconds the boom would swing madly by in front of me and over to the side, affording me a quick glimpse of Dennis clinging for dear life to the bow of the boat. Really, all I remember was a lot of screaming and the rocks along the shore getting closer and closer. Most of the screaming was coming from me, as I was not a pillar of confidence in my sailing skills. We eventually got turned around, and beat it back behind the breakwater to safety, with Dennis still clinging to the bow like one of those figureheads on an old whaling ship.
I never did get the hang of sailing in a decent wind. Anything over five knots (six MPH) made me nervous, and the more the boat leaned over the worse I got. Most sailors like a stiff breeze, and will be quite comfortable with the boat speeding along and leaning over at a forty five degree angle. I just never could get over the feeling that sooner or later the boat would tip all the way over, and I would suffer the embarrassment of the Coast Guard rescuing me. Picking me out of the water while television helicopters hovered overhead, broadcasting my poor sailing skills to the world.
The ‘Madonna Lila’ now sits safely in my brothers back yard, and I understand he does take it out sometimes in the summer. Meanwhile I sit here in a city called the ‘Venice of America’, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with a smile on my face and a drink in my hand, firmly ensconced on dry land.

10 comments:

  1. I believe that was me, not Dennis on that first sail. I remember it vividly.

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  2. I remember going out on a boat with you and your brother. Was that this boat?

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  3. No Garet, it was me on that trip (maybe not his first time out). I do think that everyone that took their lives in their hands with Alan and his boat, had similar experiences. I still remind him of his famous trip to Michigan City. I haven't been on a sailboat since his not so fun introduction to what must be great for some.

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  4. I always wondered how my land-loving brothers got "into" sailing. Gary was the baby who wouldn't put his feet in the lake on vacations, there are pictures of him "hanging" from our Dad's hands and holding his feet as high up in the air as possible so as to not touch the water! I give the both of you points for ambition and enthusiasm but not much for planning ahead...like taking some sailing classes first or hanging out on boats! Your story makes me glad I was never invited aboard, or did you hear I get seasick??

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  5. Russell should have been scared after the boat was back in port.

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  6. As I remember, it was late in the day and it became dark while we were out in the boat. I don't recall being scared, but do recall going down into the belly of the boat and feeling a bit sea sick. Otherwise I think it was rather fun.

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  7. Dennis: Maybe we were both on the same trip as I think I recall. It was frightening to see those huge waves, choppy water, and dark grey skies. I'm glad we turned back.

    Alan: So are you implying that Gary should store his boat in Fort Lauderdale?

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  8. who's bright idea was it to sail to Michigan City? i believe that's where you were with a friend of yours who got really sick and could not sail back home. my Dad and i had to drive out there, your friend drove my Dad's car home, and we sailed back with you. the entire time "sailing" back home was one of the worst experiences of my life. i really didn't think we would make it home alive. HUGE swells of water, i believe they are called white caps. i was sick the whole time over the side of the boat, clinging to my baby blanket (yeah, i know i was like 9 or something) and the safety line so i wouldn't get thrown overboard.

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  9. Madonna; We were never in any danger sailing back from New Buffalo, Michigan. But you were sea sick.

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