Flight of Fancy

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg


I hate liars, and on this past Monday I was lied to three times by an airline. The reason I was making what was to be a thirty three hour trip to Chicago, involved a death in the family, and I acknowledge that my petty problem in no way compares to the pain and loss that my aunt and uncle are dealing with.

I had decided to be with my family during this time and I would fly up to Chicago for the funeral. The first leg of the trip was from Fort Lauderdale to Atlanta aboard an airline called ‘AirTran’. Famous, for crashing into the Everglades in 1996 and for flying planes that were in excess of twenty five years old. I hadn’t used this airline since the Everglades crash, yet I was initially impressed with the fact that I was sitting in an almost brand new 737. Two hours later AirTran managed to destroy that good impression. As I left the plane, or 'de-planed' in airline jargon, I asked the attendant at the end of the jetway, "where is the gate for my next flight?".

"That flight is canceled" she stated, calmly. "Canceled, canceled, how can it be canceled? What do I do? How do I get to Chicago?" She immediately became defensive, and in a scolding tone replied, "Sir, I’m trying to tell you, if you would just calm down". "Go to gate C16, customer service and they will help you". I eventually found gate C16, and customer service, and the line with about a hundred people in it, and one single attendant to service the line. But you didn’t have to wait in that line, because they had phones off to the left that went directly to customer service. I picked up one of the phones and a sour voice at the other end answered "AirTran". "Why was my flight to Chicago canceled" I asked? "there is a blizzard in Chicago and all flights have been canceled sir." "The best we can do is put you on a flight sometime tomorrow." Which was no help because I was coming right back ‘tomorrow’.

Lies number one and two. From where I was standing I could see the television monitor with the weather radar for the entire United States, and Chicago was clear, no snow, no rain. Next to the monitor was the departure board showing that the next flight after mine was not canceled. "I want a ticket back to Fort Lauderdale, and I want my fare refunded" I told her. "Sir, you bought a non-refundable ticket. AirTran has fulfilled it’s end of the contract and has got you to your destination." That would be correct if my destination was Atlanta Hartsfield Airport.

Eventually, I managed to get half the money refunded and a voucher for another trip on their wonderful airline, plus a seat on the next plane for Fort Lauderdale. Which brings me to lie number three, flight seventy five is ‘On Time’. It was readily apparent when the 7:03PM departure time came and went, without an airplane at the gate that it wasn’t "On Time’. Yet the gate agents just stood there silently, acting like nothing was wrong, standing in front of a large screen with three inch high letters proclaiming "Flight 75 – ON TIME"

Grumpy Guy

All AirTran had to do to make me happy was tell me the truth. Chicago did not have a blizzard, they had fog, and eventually all the flights would be canceled. Flight 75 was going to be late, sorry for the inconvenience. And finally, we don’t give a crap about you because all our planes are full. Just give us your money.