Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Monkeys, Bananas, Used Cars, and a Schnauzer

It was around four in the morning and as usual I am awakened by a particularly bizarre dream. This one involved somebody who I haven't seen in over thirty years, a used car lot on the outskirts of the town I grew up in, and a grocery bag full of bananas. What was so unusual is that just moments earlier in the dream I was in Florida being driven across a bridge to the bowling alley, with a cat carrier full of cats in the back seat. I'm not sure what triggered that dream, but the day before I thought had I heard a monkey in somebody's backyard as I walked Chandler. Never the less, It's what I smelled when I woke up that bothered me. Dog stink. I could smell dog stink and it was coming from our darling little schnauzer, Sasha. She was draped over my pillow and had her head resting on my shoulder. We were muzzle to muzzle, and she had a very smelly muzzle.
"Oh gads Sasha, what the hell have you been eating?"
We don't have any more indoor cats so I knew it couldn't be kitty litter... or could it? The backyard! Earlier in the day I had allowed Sasha and Chandler out in the backyard while I watered the plants and flowers. They both made a beeline for the bushes back where the cats like to take a dump. I yelled at them to get the hell out of there, and didn't think about it anymore.

Anyway, in addition to the stank, Sasha has been itching a lot the last couple of days. So yesterday afternoon I lined the bathroom floor with towels, I took off her collar, and then I placed her in the shower. This is how I wash her. Me and Sasha naked, in the shower together, all soaped up. It's an odd sight I would imagine, but I do close the bathroom door. When I am all done with her, I open the shower door, she jumps out, and then she proceeds to run around the bathroom wiping herself on every available surface. Which is fine, because the bathroom needed to be cleaned and I proceeded to do that. Also an odd sight, me cleaning the bathroom naked.


  1. The oddest sight would be Alicia cleaning the bathroom naked.

  2. What's the difference?

  3. Really, boobs are boobs.

  4. I would still tell my girlfriend I watched girl/girl shower scene online even if it was a spayed dog and a drag queen.