Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Tree and The Apple

The Tree
My dad was a clown. For real, he was a clown. I don't mean life of the party, lamp shade on his head kind of clown. I mean he put on white face makeup, a big red nose, floppy shoes, and a goofy striped clown suit. He didn't do that professionally, he did it for fun. Dad and three of his buddies from the Knights of Columbus would slip into clown drag for town parades, church affairs, and visits to children's hospitals.

Down in our basement was his big clown chest which contained all the paraphernalia he needed for his little hobby. Did I also mention that he and his clown buddies would sometimes dress up as women? Anything for a laugh, they would put on little skits for our church and other groups dressed as women. I was probably around ten or eleven years old when I discovered that dad had falsies in that clown chest. Nicely formed, foam rubber titties, that he used in his comical drag act. Of course I couldn't resist stuffing those things in my tee shirt and parading around the basement. My sisters and I thought that was the height of hilarity, Alan with tits. Recently one of my sisters sent me an email with a video of dad in a parade. He was dressed in drag and was the spitting image of his mother. It got me to thinking, what ever happened to those falsies? I think Alicia and Alexis would really love to have those.
The Apple


  1. They don't need them.

  2. Maybe so Anonymous (D.M.), but I say the tits can always use a little extra oomph.

  3. Think of them as "lifts" for gravity's pull. I don't recommend a girdle though. If you every get it on it's like wrestling an anaconda getting it off. Oh, and vertical lines slim...

  4. Like Father, Like son