Monday, July 15, 2013

Tinkle, Tinkle

I've always been proud of the fact that I keep myself informed. I read newspapers, watch all the cable news channels (Fox is difficult to take, but I do turn it on occasionally), and always catch one of the network evening news shows. I think I may have gone too far though. I may have to quit the network evening news.

Yesterday at bowling I took a break to go take a leak. As I stood there at the urinal, the restroom started to fill up with other bowlers.
"What the hell are you doing? Hurry up already." Came the shouts from behind me. It was true, I was taking forever. I have to admit, I have a weak stream. That's not all. I get up to pee four or five times in the middle of the night, and I can't go for more than a few hours during the daytime without peeing. Just like those guys on the commercial during the evening news, I have a swollen prostate. I also have low T, fibromyalgia, depression, restless leg syndrome, high cholesterol, irritable bowl syndrome or crohn's disease, and possibly some erectile dysfunction. Every evening I watch the evening news and according to all the commercials on there, I may need some drugs. I suppose diagnosing myself by watching pharmaceutical ads on the evening news isn't the best way to maintain my health, so I've made an appointment with my doctor. I'll get a full physical and let him sort it all out. One thing I am sure of is that I must have a swollen prostate. Oh, and just for snicks I might have erectile dysfunction.

5 comments:

  1. Better living thru chemistry. Load up and live to be 100. Oh, and develop a laboratory to clone your liver because that's what's filtering all the %^&* out.

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  2. Well -- dammit Alan. I think many middle aged men are having similar issues. Maybe some ... maybe all... maybe more. I hate aging. I really do. Someday I'll tell you about menopause.

    Yes -- go see your doctor and take care of yourself.

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  3. Hostess, I actually hate taking pills. That's why I've waited so long to take care of some of my ailments. BTW, my liver has been doing just fine. I clean it out all the time with a little vodka.

    Kim, Every single advertisement during the evening news here in the U.S. is for pills. I guess young people don't watch the news or they'd be advertising Red Bull.

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  4. slightly older sisterJuly 15, 2013 at 7:54 PM

    So funny, Kim!!! Alan a middle-aged man!! Is he going to live to 126??? Well, maybe with the vodka.... Everytime I hear a news story about someone in their 60's they are referred to as "elderly". So I throw my cane at the TV!

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